Hi Gram,
I’m going to do things a little different today. Instead of reporting on my day, I want to tell you how grateful I am for the life that I get to live. All of my life, I’ve been a lucky man (well, I suppose for the first 10-15 years, I was technically a lucky boy but you get what I’m saying). I think part of that luck is that I focus on the positives and amplify them when I can and try to learn from the negatives without dwelling on them. Another part (probably the larger part) is just my great fortune. I am a white American male born in the late 20th century to a loving middle class family who gave me structure and encouragement. I got an above average education, have met some of the most supportive friends, and have kept my health. My parents encouraged me to try different things, which led to a grab bag of jobs and careers, some wild adventures, and experiences that have made great memories and stories. I often hear comments like “You did what?” or “I could never do that”. My mom and some friends tell me that they live vicariously through me.

All of that is to say, I am grateful for what I have and recognize that I received opportunities that other people don’t have. The phrase “white male privilege” gets bandied about quite a bit and has received a negative connotation with some people who don’t want their accomplishments explained away by their race or gender. I recognize it as meaning that I’ve had opportunities that others have not. Walking down the street, I’m not afraid of being stopped by police because of my skin color. I’m not worried that I’ll be assaulted and forced to do things against my will because of my gender. My parents never taught me how to act diminutive and non-threatening with police so that I don’t get shot when they invariably stop me. I haven’t taken any classes on how to hold my keys when I’m walking to the parking lot, and I’ve never bought pepper spray to keep in my purse. I’ve been able to spend the time others spend on protecting themselves on improving myself or getting ahead. The higher pay I’ve received has allowed me to invest for my future or even just spend it on frivolous things. That’s not to say that life was handed to me. I’ve had setbacks and challenges. I’ve had to get out of bed with the alarm, I’ve had to go home instead of the bar so I could work the next day, I’ve had to recover from injuries. I just recognize that everyone has to run their hardest if they want to win, but it’s easier when you start ahead of others and have the wind at your back instead of a head wind.

That was all a long-winded tangent to tell you about my recent fortunate life. I’m currently in Hua Hin, Thailand for a fitness camp. I left back in September with a vague plan of spending 6 weeks in Bali, then “hopping around Southeast Asia for a while.” My friend Samantha and I were going to spend a few weeks or months in Thailand, and our friend David was going to join us for a week or two. At some point in September or October, I decided that I would check out some fitness camps in the country to attend after Samantha and David had gone home. Plans morph and change as we go, though. Samantha ended up going to a yoga retreat in northern Thailand, and David expressed interest in joining me for a week or two at the fitness retreat.

We found a camp that fit our schedules, so the two of us spent our first couple of weeks in Thailand staying in Hua Hin and exercising. Neither of us knew anything about the town, it was just where the retreat was being held. It turns out that it’s a wonderful, laid back little beach town. The locals are friendly, a friend we’d met in Bali was planning to be there too, there’s plenty to do, and theres a Songtaew – a green pickup truck with seats in the back that operates as a bus running up and down the main road in town – that can take us where we wanted to go. I enjoyed the first couple of weeks here with David. The workouts were hard, but worth it and we made new friends. After a couple of weeks, David flew home to his recent bride that he had been missing.

Meanwhile, I’ve been on the dating sites and apps for a while, being that I’m a single man. I’ve matched with some women from time to time but as with anything, it’s a numbers game. Sometimes I’ll have great connections with someone and find things in common; sometimes we can tell immediately or eventually that we’re not a match. I’ve always believed that you can’t win the game if you don’t play. I figure that maybe I’ll find a new friend, maybe I’ll start a relationship only to see it fizzle out, and maybe I’ll find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Life is about the journey, not the destination. Shortly after David left, I matched with a local woman looking for a boyfriend with whom she could practice her English. We went on a few dates that were full of laughter, relied heavily on Google Translate, and felt really good. I went home from each date smiling and feeling happier than I had before the date. I had been talking with other women in the area, but none felt as natural and connected as with Natiya.

We’ve been dating now for a week or two, so things are awfully new and I’m not sure I should even be writing about this yet. I’m finding myself with the thoughts of “enjoy it and see where it goes”, balanced with some of the geographic and cultural hurdles we’ll face if this continues to be so wonderful. Time will tell, but for now I just wanted to let you know that I’m happy. I have my health, I’m building new memories every day, I have gotten to spend the last few months with friends, I’m staying in touch with my family and friends back home, and I may be the fittest that I’ve been in a long time. I have plans and goals to keep me going when I return to the states, and now I have a blossoming relationship with a beautiful, intelligent, caring woman who makes me laugh and feel good every day. I am truly the luckiest man you know.